The Five Things
by JessicaRenee026
Summary: Jim doesn’t go to Stamford. He has an unbelievable explanation that takes a letter, listing five things that Pam never knew about him. His greatest secret revealed. Supernatural/The Office xover.


THE FIVE THINGS

**Summary:** Jim doesn't go to Stamford. He has an unbelievable explanation that takes a letter, listing five things that Pam never knew about him. His greatest secret revealed. Supernatural/The Office xover.

**AN:** I've had this goofy idea during my three French I class and I wrote it instead of listening. I thought it'd make a good idea for a tale. Like the true secret of Jim Halpert. Takes place after Casino Night, but going with the Jim never told Pam how he felt plot line. He just doesn't show up one day. It'd make a great full length story, but unless someone else agrees, I'll probably leave this as a one shot. Let me know, though. I thrive of reviews.

Dear Pam,

If you're reading this, that means the unthinkable has happened. By unthinkable, I mean it was something I didn't want to happen because I knew it would happen eventually happen. I was hoping it would be later, rather then sooner, but ten years is a lot longer then I expected. So I'm not dead. Not now, anyways. I lead a dangerous life, Beasley. Like you wouldn't believe. You should have seen this… Wait. I'm getting ahead of myself. The point of this email is to explain why you may never see me again. So, for the past few weeks, instead of doing my job, I've been reading these stupid 5 things stories in the Harry Potter section of Harry Potter section on mainly to annoy Dwight with emails littered with Draco's five reasons why he's always loved Hermione Granger or a list of five things he always wanted to tell Miss Granger, but never got around it…anyway. It gave me an idea. I'm going to tell you five things I never knew about me. Promise me you wont laugh, Pam. Promise me.

Okay, with that covered, I'll begin.

Now remember, you promised not to laugh. This is serious stuff, Beasley.

1. My mom is the hottest mom in the world, and I mean that in the son who's proud her mother has kept her figure after all these years, not in the incesty way. I mean, if you met her, you'd agree. She's forty-six years old and people think she's my younger sister.

2. On the subject of family, not only do I have a forty-six year old mom who looks like she's twenty (resulting in the sibling theory), I do actually have a younger sister…and a younger brother. They're twins, only seventeen. They drive me completely insane, of course, but I love them to pieces. They've had to be tough, with what they've grown up with. Sometimes all I want to do is protect them, but they've already seen so much…

3. ALMOST everything you know about me is a lie. I didn't grow up in Scranton. I don't have an adoring mom and dad with graying hair and welcoming grins. I've never lived in the same place for more then a year. I wet to about fifteen public schools until I was fourteen. After that I taught myself. I managed an academic scholarship. I went to Penn State and graduated with a major in Business and a minor in Ancient Folklore. Dunder-Mifflin was a safe place after school. I guess I thought I'd never stay that long, though it wasn't all bad. I mean, I had you to amuse me, didn't I?

4. I can take apart ay gun ad put it back together I under two minutes. I have a bag of purified salt under my bed and I can list nearly every protective symbol. I also speak fluent Latin and Ancient Greek. I believe in ghosts, demons, and monsters, but not because I'm weird. It's because I've seen them with my own eyes.

5. Before I became Jim Halpert, the over qualified, chipper, mischievous, Dunder-Mifflin paper sales man, I was Jim Halpert - Demon Hunter. This is the part where you don't laugh. I've broken curses, killed things that only exist in nightmares and exercised sprits hell bent on revenge. The things your parents told you didn't exist, do. It's my greatest secret, and I fought so hard to be normal, but it's never far behind and you can never run away for good. The knowledge is a gift, yet a curse. I can't sit behind my desk knowing the greatest war between good and evil is escalating as we speak, thanks to some idiots who opened hell's gates and let the demons out. I got work to do, as they say.

I sent you something via the men in brown. A box of salt (you make a line in front of every entrance of your home (doors, windows) and a necklace. The charm on it has some serious protective elements in it. The experts say so, and I'd trust them with my life.

Anyways, there they are. My five things. Believe them or not, your decision. Maybe I'll see you around some day.

It doesn't' take five things to say either.

I love you Pam, I always have.

Man that felt good to say. Well, this is goodbye.

Yours,

Jim Halpert


End file.
